My last post was in response to a question Master posed of me; asking me to list five things that i like that He does and wish He would do as a Dom. I have been thinking about this question and wanting to pose the same of Him. I feel that the rules that He has given me set clear expectations and boundaries for me in regards to attitude and action but i am curious to know what He is really wanting to see happen in this new twist to our relationship.
He asked me because He felt as though He was not meeting my needs or my expectations (which couldn’t be further from the truth!) but i too feel as though i am falling short in His expectations of me. Since i am the one who pushed for this i often wonder if now that we are trying what does He picture our dynamic to be; what would He want me to do that i’m not already doing (i know one of the things He mentioned to me the other day was He wants me to be more vocal. i tend to not say what i want for a couple of reasons; partially because i worry that if i am telling Him what i want that i am then directing how things should go and of course that defeats everything we are trying to achieve but also because i am still not one hundred percent comfortable asking for what i want because there is still that part of me that is uncomfortable with this being okay.
A book that i have been reading has reassured me that asking for what you want is not only okay; it is necessary. i can’t expect Him to be a mind reader and that’s what i have been doing i think. Communication…it is the strongest tool we have in order to make this work. So i hope that Master is able to answer this question of expectations for me as well so that i can better submit and serve Him as i want to be able to.