Beginning….again…

Life has not been the journey we had hoped for these last few months; work, life, injuries, stress and general exhaustion had truly interfered with our relationship and not just in the BDSM dynamic.  i was truly feeling disconnected from Master and back to where i had been before last summer; feeling insecure and unloved.

Summer is upon us and with that has come a huge shift in our life as i will now be taking on the role of stay at home mom/wife/submissive.  i am excited about finally getting to move into the role i have dreamed of for so long but yet i am scared to take this leap and thankfully Master is wanting to move slowly back into it and as He mentioned in His last post we will be adding rules back into our life gradually. i look forward to beginning again and hopefully this time we will achieve the consistency we are both hoping for and i will be able to serve and please Him as i have longed to for so long.

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So Busy (Him)

One of the biggest challenges we have faced in this adventure is that we are so busy that things just do not always seem to go our way.  The challenges of being a master in a BDSM relationship require very high level of action and commitment.  Possibly more than being the submissive.  In this context, I feel that to regain the momentum we had earlier we will break the rules down to ensure success.  Below is a set of date driven rules, where WE will be able to grow into our roles and hopefully help us succeed more than just trying to set a large number of rules on day one and expecting consistency on His part and submission on hers.

The rules are taken from the pages of the submissive rules and are as follows:

Continuing Rules:

  • He will be addressed as “Sir” or by His given name.
  • she will wash him.
  • she will report all purchases to Him on the day they are made so they can be correctly recorded.
  • Work, children, and educational endeavors override all rules.
  • she is the primary person responsible for the cleanliness of the home.  It is expected to be kept neat and organized. 
  • she will keep herself shaved and neat at all times.

Until June 29

  • As His alarm clock, she will wake him up by sucking His cock.
  • When alone, she will kneel in his presence or take her place on the floor at his feet
  • His schedule will be maintained online, if it is not found there, it does not exist.
  • she will be available and prepared for sexual service whenever He wishes.she will wash, fold, put away and iron His clothes so He is prepared for the day.
  • she is to memorize the mantra and repeat it when requested
  • she is to create a list of projects she would like to see completed and they will be discussed and timelines set around them.
  • After the children go to bed, she will retrieve her collar, kneel before Him so he can place it on her.  She will then dress appropriately.
  • When sleeping, she will either sleep naked or wear a night gown.
  • she will include kegle exercises in her workout routine

July 7

  • she will keep a weekly blog post, this can be her feelings, current events, or a fantasy story.
  • she will seek out ways to please Him through stripping, lap dancing, and offering her body for His pleasure.
  • she will keep her nails neat, buffed, and polished, the color is up to her.
  • she will select her outfit and request his approval prior to dressing.
  • she will ask permission before using furniture.

July 14

  • she will schedule days where the children spend the night at a grandparent’s home during the summer.  On that day, she will dress in a maid outfit during the day and then when He arrives home, she will place herself at his feet and await His direction.  During the day she will send photos of herself dressed and cleaning the house.
  • she will learn to use makeup
  • Purchases will be pre-planned, shopping lists and a budget will be created.  Purchases will be restricted to the shopping list.
  • Any purchase over 50 dollars by He or she will be discussed by both parties.
  • He is deviant in His sexual ways.  she will work hard to encourage this through words and actions.

August 4

  • she will masturbate on her own at least twice a week and will let Him know when she is doing so.  That way He can watch.

Expectations (His)

Life is one of those curious things that we pretend to control and only the foolish actually believe that they at any time truly have control.

What we do have is control over the small things.  What we wear to work.  If we stop to get a Slurpee for a snack.  How we exercise.  How we treat others.

My wife, the woman I love, asks what my expectations are.  The truth is I do not hold any expectations other than these:

  • I expect her to love  me
  • I expect her to forgive her mistakes and to look past mine
  • I expect her to do her best
  • I expect that when we reach the end, we will get there together.

As for our time as dominate and submissive, now that it is summer and freedom abounds, I find that her role is to become the domestic.

  • The children should be loved
  • The home should be well kept
  • she should be ready when I arrive home
  • she should know her place and seek out opportunities to please me.

My expectations of myself are that:

  • I will do better for her
  • I will do better for our children
  • I will be present
  • I will be fair

In the end, it comes down to having the courage to be the person you want to be.  As the song says.  I do not fear dying, I only fear not trying.