Let me start by saying “I am not an expert.”
I think that anyone who states they are an expert is confused as to what an expert is. Some people might view an individual as an expert; but the second someone starts to view themselves that way, they lose a bit of the edge that got them there.
I have read a lot of posts about people wondering about safe words. Are they really needed? My thought is that while you might be in a relationship and safe words may never get used, they are still an important item to have.
As individuals, we are never in control 100% of the time; and sometimes visual clues slip past us. Sometimes we get caught up in something, sometimes our mind wanders just a little bit and we miss the submissive slip past that line that we want to flirt with.
Suddenly we hear the word “RED!” it grabs our attention and pulls us back. We can stop and we can care. So why would we not want safe words? If we use the word “safe” then it feels like a “safe word” is an important item to keep in your bag of tricks.
I might be narrow-minded on this; but I see no benefit in not having it. If you as a dominant do not like safe words, work towards never having to hear them; but boilers come with a safety valve for a reason. You never want to have to use one; but it is there. Just like safe words should be. Allowing us to push our limits in a safe environment where we know that if all else fails, yelling “Red”, “Nacho” or even “Aunt May’s Fanny” is all we need to make us safe again. If nothing else, that might be the safety net we need to push just a bit further and discover what we were looking for in the first place!
As a guy with a lot of tools for pleasuring my wife inside and outside of the bedroom, I like to have a solid set of tools that I know are going to help me achieve the project’s goals, even if it turns out I never have to use one or two of them.