Five Easy Steps

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It is official!

The wife took the BDSM test and then shared with me that such a thing existed.  So I had her read me the questions while I answered them as we were driving around.

The results are shown in the image for me.

IMG_0858I cannot say that I am surprised by the results.  I like to try things, especially “risky” things and while I am on the dominant side, I think everyone has their times when they are submissive as well.  I thought the results were fairly accurate and represent the fact that I am kind of an asshole (in the best sense of the word).

It does not bother me to make people suffer and cause them pain (sadist) and I enjoy when they cannot escape and have to suffer a bit of humiliation.

The good news is that my results line up fairly well with the wife’s results.  She has a very submissive side that wants to be dominated, wants to be tied up, and wants to “suffer” at my hands.

The BDSM test can be found here: https://bdsmtest.org/

-Sir

Obedience

Obedient: Adjective

Complying or willing to comply with orders or requests; submissive to another’s will.

What does it mean to be obedient? i know that it is what i want to be; i know that i struggle with this at times and i know that it may be something i am not able to achieve for quite some time.  i think trust has a large part in being able to be obedient; i have to know that the standards and expectations that are being put in place for me are for my betterment, that should i fail to meet said expectations i will be held accountable for that but i also need to know that i will be accepted for my shortcomings, loved and encouraged to do better the next time.

When i feel secure in that trust and love i find it very simple to obey, but even when i feel unsure at the bottom of my pushing and questioning and doubt there is they deep underlying desire and need to please you and surrender myself to you; not because i feel you need to change me and hopefully not because you feel like you need to change me.  Rather, i feel like by surrendering, submitting, obeying, i am showing you how deep my love for you goes.  i will do whatever i can to obey you because you make me want to be the best person i can be.

i am not sure if this completely answers the question but i am not sure that it is a question that can fully be answered because i am still evolving into the person i long to be. Just know that my goal is to obey you to the best of my ability.

Your little b

Trying to Get Caught Up

Whew!  i have been on a roller coaster of emotions and energy the last couple of weeks; first we were dealing with the flu and strep in our oldest child so that was about a week of tending to her needs and putting the Sixty Days of Submission and most of D/s on the back burner.  But once she was recovered and back at school i found myself having a very hard time getting back into our regularly scheduled program; i was really thriving on having a set task each day and because of our oldest being home i had to skip around on the list to find things i could do while having her home with me plus my energy was running very low so i had very little left to give to…well…anything.

So last week i found myself beginning to feel ambivalent towards it all; it didn’t seem like Sir was to concerned whether i was completing tasks or not (though i did have a couple of days where i didn’t get to eat lunch because i forgot to pack His) and i was frustrated with myself that i was forgetting to do things that were already a part of our daily routine (see above) and that stupid little voice of doubt started to creep back in and make me wonder why we were doing any of this; was i the only one who wanted it.

Once i had my pity party i started to reevaluate things and the conclusion i came to is, i do need this.  We were still doing things that made it clear that both of us want this dynamic and that i am much happier, much more connected and much more driven when i am feeling submissive.  But being submissive, being a wife and most of all being a mother is a game of balance and sometimes one role is going to be more prominent than others.  It doesn’t mean that being submissive comes first, it doesn’t mean that being a mom or a wife means i have to be less submissive.  It means i have to learn how to be able to shift between the roles and find the pockets that allow me to be all of those things in each one.

So while i have lost track of exactly what day we are on (it should be 39, technically i think we are about 10 days behind that) here are some of the items i was able to do on the list over the last few weeks: make bread in the bread maker (this was a lot of fun, very simple and i am planning on it becoming a weekly routine), write a blog post about what i can offer Sir (see February 25th for that), volunteer for community service once a month, Masturbate twice in a day but stopping before i came each time (that made for a very cranky day, paint my nails and make sure to maintain them from here on out (Sir is supposed to approve the color but we didn’t do that part).  i did fail to complete my task on Saturday, not for lack of want but i didn’t make time for it; i was supposed to write the word “submissive” on my left breast and post a picture of it so last night i found myself tied up and blindfolded while Sir wrote on both breasts for me.

We are going to have to do a little more shifting around over the next two weeks due to both children being home with me for Spring Break; several tasks i will not be able to complete while they are home but hopefully they can be replaced with others that will work.

His little b

Fuel Your Bondage

It is 2015, we know that eating healthy makes us live longer and helps us be active.

However, if you need one more reason to eat right, here it is!

Bondage, BDSM, M/s are all better when you eat right.  Food will fuel your engine, it will also help you to recover, the manage pain, to cum again and again.

Marathons, swimming, workouts, and climbing take training and diet, so be sure to look to improve your diet as you improve yourself and your skills on the bedroom (or your personal “Red Room of Pain).

Here are some foods to help you along the way: http://www.menshealth.com/sex-md/better-sex-diet

-Sir