Something They Are Not

Recently more and more people have been asking about how they can help their dominant be more dominant.  I suspect there are people wondering how to make their submissive fall more into the submissive mindset as well; but are afraid to ask… Thinking that asking makes them less dominant.

The short answer is that you can never make someone into something they are not.
No way, no how, no chance!

Now that being said… If a person is interested in being more dominant, the best tools available to them are to:

  1. Have a submissive that understands they are learning.
  2. Be open to the submissive topping from the bottom (aka helping both of you to get where the dominant and submissive want to be).
  3. Read!  Read a lot, find the things that make sense to you and look for ways that you can tighten things up.
  4. Talk often about how things are going.
  5. Set both long term and short term goals such as “This week you will kneel at the bed in the morning” and “By Christmas you will dress and do your makeup in the style of a 1950’s housewife”.
  6. Set dates to evaluate your progress and realign your goals.  Things that sounded awesome on day one may not make much sense on day 100.

In the end, it comes down to commitment and communication.  If your dominant or submissive wants to change who they are, it can take time.  They probably have years of building who they currently are, so give it some time for them to become someone new and be supportive!

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