Finding my way through the grey.

While D/s has taken a bit of a backseat for us over the last few months there have been moments where we were able to step into our roles and relish them.  As I have stated in the past, as a black and white thinker I have a hard time when things are in the grey…and that has where we have been for a very long time.
But I realized that D/s isn’t a black and white issue; most of it is in the grey because what one couples dynamic entails may not work for another.  Similarly our D/s dynamic may not seem true to others or it may even seem to be ideal to others.  Life controls our path and sometimes it leads us away from where we want to be.

Then over the last few weeks life took me to a terrible place that I haven’t experienced in some time. In a six day period I had two family members and a friend pass away and while dealing with my grief I was also fighting illness that left me feeling very much like I did when I had mono. I couldn’t deal with much and Daddy ordered me to bed for most of that time in order to keep my sanity and conserve what little energy I had.

But from this period of chaos came a beautiful thing; I found myself feeling the D/s dynamic we have working to find all this time.  Daddy had truly been my safe place; he cuddled me and protected me, he listened as I sobbed and worried about my family and our future, he made sure that our little family was taken care of by making dinners and taking the children where they needed to be, but mostly he gave and gave without asking for anything in return. I felt so safe, so full and so wanting to give to him in return.

So yesterday I was given roses and these

  in them are instructions from Daddy on how our routines and roles will play from here on.  I was reluctant at first because emotionally I wasn’t sure I was ready to take up our D/s full time but then I realized that I was because I know that we are evolving together and that while life may sometimes make this journey difficult; it is our journey…wherever it takes us and we will face the grey together and make it ours.

His little b

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3 thoughts on “Finding my way through the grey.

  1. I am sorry for your losses…and so glad you have your Daddy to take care of you.

  2. naughtynora says:

    I know you posted this a couple of years ago, but I wanted to express my condolences on your losses. I recently loss my mom and my younger brother, and perhaps it sounds strange, but our D/s dynamic really saw us through these terrible times. Hope you are feeling better and that the pain of loss is softening.

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