At its core, dominance is really just guiding someone. There are different levels of course, but you are taking an individual who has surrendered some level of rights and applying guidelines, instructions, and rules.
The goal of which is to simplify their life and allow them to focus on what they have decided is important – the dominant’s needs.Through this exchange the couple is able to create an experience that is unique to them. It might be strictly a non-sexual, totally sexual, or a full power exchange.
The submissive may continue to work or they may find bliss in being a domestic god(dess).
The only item of importance is that they create a relationship that works for them and establish a set of rules and protocols that make them happy, the sky (or if you prefer “the gutter”) is the limit!
I am sad to say, the hospital has a different idea of what this than I do.
D/s like everything else takes time, effort, and a consistent desire to be better today than you were yesterday.
The challenge to D/s is being with someone who also wants to take those steps with you. Someone who is capable of moving forward and fighting their fears, their trepidation, their limits.
On the Dominant side, we get the job of trying to map a path forward for the submissive. Some people will thrive in facing these challenges and will constantly push their limits, others will not.
Some people are just not cut out to try new things. Even people that are adventurous about trying new things like skydiving may not want to push their personal limits in a relationship or in the bedroom.
Finding a friend, partner, spouse, or group that is willing to make those same steps as you is an amazing opportunity for everyone to find out how far they can go.
Life gives us such a wealth of opportunities but we have to be willing to step up and over those lines that “normal” society defines. In the end, I think that people want to grow; but they just are so henned in by society’s norms that it creates this huge weight on them.
When you let that weight control you, then you can never achieve.
We really should never have a choice, we should always stand up and move forward towards our goals.
You may fall, you may not ever reach those goals; but in the end, you do not want to be the person who looks back and says “I never really tried because I was afraid.”
In my never ending quest to gain knowledge I come across a lot of fiction from both Submissives and dominants where the female “slave” truely becomes property.
She is conditioned to live in a cage, to serve as she is told and to not think.
My question is, if someone came up to you and offered to turn you into a mindless sex object, would that be what you wanted? This assumes you are not parents or have any other obligations.
What would be your perfect idea of submission? Would you be equal in many aspects but submissive in others?
What do you feel is important for you to retain? A job, the unique aspects that make you special, hobbies?
I can imagine that it could be a very peaceful life giving everything up and simply serving.
I am a quiet man. I demand only one thing, your obedience.
My kink is your surrender, watching you change from a mindful, intelligent, caring woman into a cock hungry, single minded, slut devoid of any desires other than to serve and to receive my gifts.
My kink is your pain, your moans, your decent into subspace. Your escape from the bonds of reality into the cotton, silk, and steel bonds that I employ.
To the world you maybe a quiet housewife. To the world you are never a slut. For me, you are MY slut and that makes all the difference.
My kink, is pushing the boundaries and limits and taking you places you have never been, then watching you swim back from them, helpless in my arms.
My kink, is the bond that holds you to me, the leash that denies you freedom.
… It is not that he knows that any flaw in his deportment will be reported to his Master … he simply wants nothing more than to be a tribute to his Master at all times.
– Miss Abernathy
The next line is “… is that not the root of submissive desire?”
This is a great statement for new submissives to ask themselves, are you getting into a D/s relationship because you want the sex (which is also OK) or because you want to show the world that you are your Dominants and that you take such pride in doing so that you let every action reflect that purpose.
Dominants of course, do not escape this either. Do not reflect poorly on yourself, do not abuse the gift your submissive gives, and do not enter into the idea of D/s because you like hitting people.
That last one is a good reason enter into a therapist office and talk with them immediately.
Be the individual that your Dominant or submissive deserves; and demonstrate that through your actions 24/7.