D/s like everything else takes time, effort, and a consistent desire to be better today than you were yesterday.
The challenge to D/s is being with someone who also wants to take those steps with you. Someone who is capable of moving forward and fighting their fears, their trepidation, their limits.
On the Dominant side, we get the job of trying to map a path forward for the submissive. Some people will thrive in facing these challenges and will constantly push their limits, others will not.
Some people are just not cut out to try new things. Even people that are adventurous about trying new things like skydiving may not want to push their personal limits in a relationship or in the bedroom.
Finding a friend, partner, spouse, or group that is willing to make those same steps as you is an amazing opportunity for everyone to find out how far they can go.
Life gives us such a wealth of opportunities but we have to be willing to step up and over those lines that “normal” society defines. In the end, I think that people want to grow; but they just are so henned in by society’s norms that it creates this huge weight on them.
When you let that weight control you, then you can never achieve.
We really should never have a choice, we should always stand up and move forward towards our goals.