Last night Daddy gave me the task of blogging about my goals for the year. Thankfully he has said it can be an ongoing list as I hope to continue to grow and evolve as the year goes on. A couple of weeks ago I had a major emotional breakdown and was at a point where I was ready to walk away from D/s for a while until I could figure out exactly what I was looking for.
But the more I thought about it the more I realized that so much of what I have become; so much of what we have become together is enmeshed with D/s. I crave so much of it that I think I would feel worse if it wasn’t a part of our life.
So one of my main goals is to do without questioning; I have a list of expectations and I do fairly well at adhering to them but it is harder when my depression is at its worst; and I think that is when I need the limits the most because they provide me security and consistency.
I am also working on trying more things sexually that I have been resistant to; once upon a time pre-children I enjoyed being on the receiving end of oral sex but over time I found myself bothered by it. I know it is something Daddy enjoys immensely and so I am pushing myself to keep trying it because I know it brings him pleasure.
I suppose the other goal I am working toward is blogging more. I still find it somewhat strange to share my innermost thoughts with strangers but I also know that those that visit the blog and comment regularly are very insightful and are sharing journies similar to ours. We can all learn from each other; I love to read other people’s writings because I often find I walk away with a sense of feeling that we are not alone and often I learn more about myself.
So this is the beginning of my list; I can’t wait to see what I am able to accomplish and add as the year goes on.
His little b