I have been wondering lately if I have been doing everything I can as a dominant. I do not feel that I am providing the guidance and correction that my submissive wife desires.
To set the story, there are background reasons behind this, a lot of our relationship was more of a frozen sexual ground. she was not getting the emotional support she needed and I was not getting the physical support I needed. The two fed off of each other. The reasons on both sides run deep, to our cores.
Now we made the move into D/s and my leadership style is to set a goal and let the individual determine how they are going to get there. I do not want to micromanage.
The problem is that does not work for D/s. I am finding it requires an amount of micromanagement to be successful.
I need to be aware of the feelings and emotions my submissive is carrying as much as possible. I need to be more open and verbal. I need to work with her to find the ways to help her and I improve as individuals, a couple and as Dominant and submissive.
One of the things I think I need is a support structure. I need an impartial third party in the D/s community to talk to and discuss the Dominant role. So I am going to look locally and try and follow useful individuals on Twitter and discuss things with them. I am going to build myself a support structure so I can be the the Dominant my wife deserves.
In the end, I have to stop making Dominance about myself and make it about her. How can I move us along? How can I help her achieve her goals so that we can become more as a couple?
Things to think on and discuss for this guy.