Phoning It In?

I have been wondering lately if I have been doing everything I can as a dominant.  I do not feel that I am providing the guidance and correction that my submissive wife desires.

To set the story, there are background reasons behind this, a lot of our relationship was more of a frozen sexual ground.  she was not getting the emotional support she needed and I was not getting the physical support I needed.  The two fed off of each other.  The reasons on both sides run deep, to our cores.

Now we made the move into D/s and my leadership style is to set a goal and let the individual determine how they are going to get there.  I do not want to micromanage.

The problem is that does not work for D/s.  I am finding it requires an amount of micromanagement to be successful.

I need to be aware of the feelings and emotions my submissive is carrying as much as possible.  I need to be more open and verbal.  I need to work with her to find the ways to help her and I improve as individuals, a couple and as Dominant and submissive.

One of the things I think I need is a support structure.  I need an impartial third party in the D/s community to talk to and discuss the Dominant role.  So I am going to look locally and try and follow useful individuals on Twitter and discuss things with them.  I am going to build myself a support structure so I can be the the Dominant my wife deserves.

In the end, I have to stop making Dominance about myself and make it about her. How can I move us along?  How can I help her achieve her goals so that we can become more as a couple?

Things to think on and discuss for this guy.

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