While the pursuit of perfection is the bragging rights of Lexus, the rest of us can take great pleasure in getting better with each attempt instead. Perfection may just be out of reach but that does not excuse us from trying to reach for it.
As we work and play, our goals should be to always be better. We want, we need, we should set our goals to always be better; and in doing so we will push ourselves forward. We should expect our partners to be interested in doing the same.
No matter what you get into, ropes, wax, spanking, clamps, camping, running, skipping you should want to improve. With each time that you play, you should ask yourself and your partner what worked, what did not work, what could be better, what can we push further.
Break things down, look at them analytically (which can admittedly be hard especially if you are romantically entwined). If you are in a relationship where sex is just sex this effort will be easier because you spend less time worrying about the emotions of your partner and what little thing might upset them.
If you are in a monogamous loving relationship, your waters may be a bit more difficult to navigate. How will your partner feel if you say “I did not like the way you nibbled on my nipple”? How can you phrase things so that the two of you can grow together without upsetting your partner?
That will come down to your individual relationship but it has to start with trust, love, and honesty. The more open you are to listening to each other, the more likely you can discuss things to improve without hurting the other person.
Having conversations like these can be a bit like a work of art. You have to build the foundation through communiation before you play. You should layer in discussions about how you want to talk afterwords. Do they really want to know what to do to be better? Are they interested in feedback and improving? Are you? When the picture is complete you can frame it with the postcoital conversation.
None of us really want to hear that we were horrible, but sometimes that is just what we need to hear to realize we can be better, to shake away the illusion in our head.
In our house, our oldest daughter tried a lot of sports; she would always talk about how good she was. When we would take her out to practice and try to help her she would refuse because she was “already good”. When we pointed out that the professional athletes still practiced, she would ignore us.
One thing that she forgot is that we always can be better. We always need more practice.
So you have to be ready to fail. You have to accept that you will do things wrong. You have to be willing to improve.
Once you accept those things, then you can start to have those conversations about how you and your partner can be better together.
Taking all of these items, having open and honest communication can help to improve your relationship and, to use a euphemism, “adventures”.