It is very sexy. Women tend to crave a man who is not afraid to take control, who will growl in her ear as he calls her all those naughty words she never thought she would need to hear.
How does one gain control? How do you keep it? The answer is there really is two ways.
The first is that we can take it. Historically this has been the cause of a significant number of issues across large groups of people and it tends to lead us to think of slaves and things that are a bit darker.
The more likely way is to be given control. This is a consensual action and gives both parties something they want. The Dominant gets the power they crave and the submissive gets the control and guidance they desire.
There is a fine line between the two. One can accept control but then go to far and find that they have taken more than they should.
On the other hand, you can end up not taking as much as the submissive wants you to take.
The best solution is to talk, to understand what the next steps are. How have things been going this week? Should we step up to another level?
Control is a tricky thing, you have to be open, honest, and careful to ensure that everyone is happy and that things are going as expected.
The truth is that control is really an illusion. What you have is a group of people that agree on something and do things together. If someone gets “crazy” then that control can be lost when a breakup, mutiny or other event occurs.
So you have to keep that communication level up and make sure that you are sharing the things your partner needs to know to retain control. Much like a manager has to provide details to their employees for them to be successful as a team.
Think of a D/s relationship the way you view what you wish you got from your manager at work. Try and provide those things for your partner(s) and make sure they enjoy your hand on their ass 😈.