I was reading this article today (http://www.lovense.com/sex-tips/how-to-talk-dirty) and came across a line that I think is important (among a lot of lines that I enjoyed).
“Ease into it”. A lot of people have trouble going (as my wife likes to say) from “0 to 60” overnight. So we have to plan and take that into consideration.
One of the things that worked for us was to create a 30/60/90 day plan. Set objectives and work towards them. Then review your progress, evaluate the goals, and adjust as needed.
For example, let’s say you decide that you want to have a threesome at 120 days. Maybe you get two months in and realize that is no longer something you want. Reset your goals along the way and you will find that your communication improves and your relationship grows right along with it.
Keep your goals simple at first, for a D/a couple maybe it is the submissive has to wait at the door when the Dominant is arriving home. If it is a bedroom thing, start with blindfolds and work your way up to leather and a sex swing.
Find a pace that is comfortable for you as a couple.