Getting Started

It can be scary to jump into the deep end of the BDSM world, or, as the wife says “going from 0to 60 just like that”.

This article has some ideas that can help you get into BDSM play:

It does not get into a 24/7 dynamic but it talks about ways to play.

They mention wax play, and they quickly hit on checking for the right candles… because using a dinner table candle is provably going to burn your playmate, and not with “good pain”.

Some other items:

  1. Kinky text messaging.
  2. Cook a dinner naked.
  3. Sit at the “Dom’s” feet and watch a movie.
  4. Surprise your playmate with an unexpected sex act, like oral sex in a car wash.
  5. Dress sexy for bed.
  6. Lock the bedroom door and make your partner “get the key”.
  7. Ice.
  8. Toys.
  9. Rope.
  10. Bubble bath.

There is practically no end to the possibilities.  Be creative and be open to new opportunities, and you can have a lot of fun.


I was struck by a though today.  My wife was reading a story to the three year old in our house and they got to a page with a baby wearing a crown, like a beauty queen.

The three year old said “Aww… she is beautiful.”

At that moment it hit me that we (parents in general) tell kids that Disney princesses are beautiful.  We tell our kids they are beautiful.  We talk about how people in magazines and books are beautiful, and that is the problem.

I cannot think of a time I have ever just pointed out someone on the street, perhaps an elderly lady walking with her groceries or even a homeless person and said “look at how beautiful they are.”

We create an illusion of beauty that requires the individual to wear makeup, a fancy dress, heels… whatever.  

We even tell our kids that what is important is inner beauty but we (as society) tend to then point at the beautiful people and say “that is what pretty is.”
Then we wonder why so many girls have self-esteem problems.

So I am here to tell you, that everyone of you is beautiful.  Maybe you are overweight, short, missing some teeth, or not very well off.

Still, you are beautiful.  

Unless you are Cruella Da’ville.  Then your just evil.  So, if you are not wanting to wear a puppy coat, you are beautiful!

Let’s point out people on the street and say they are beautiful instead of Disney’s artwork.  Let’s build that self-esteem back up!